


Distance

by orphan_account



Category: Naruto
Genre: Demons, F/M, Family History, Hell, Mostly Kakashi's POV, Secrets, Soulmates, Unrequited Love, apparitions - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2020-05-21
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:41:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23999155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Were they even second chances or was it just a lie? No, he learned lives could transcend in other worlds where the heart could beat with a newfound purpose, where his unmet, deep, and yearning affection could finally seek what it always desired. It was just his luck when he learned that his soul mate came with a cost. There was more to his lineage than he formerly believed. It was dark and he was going to deny it with all his strength.
Relationships: Haruno Sakura & Hatake Kakashi, Haruno Sakura/Hatake Kakashi
Comments: 6
Kudos: 23





	1. Chapter 1

Secrets got people killed, but sometimes, some things were necessary to keep under the surface of an ocean. The dark depths concealed his fears and past. He lived a rather long life serving the place he was supposed to consider home. A village, he swore to protect because what else would he do? 

That life was over. 

His last breath was on a hard ground caked with his own blood. His life force seeped into the earth beneath him. He gasped, oddly numbed and in excruciating pain. His uniform tattered, wounds of varying degrees splayed over his body. 

So this was how it was going to end. He was supposed to turn forty eight in a month. How fortunate was he compared to the people he knew personally, who actually had plans for the future and were not letting life pass by like he was doing? 

Creatures he never encountered before had caught him by surprise, they nearly ambushed him. What intrigued him and made him feel raw fear was that these grotesque beings had no chakra. Long, black hands that stretched and engulfed his scope of vision in darkness tried to get a hold of him and they did. Like rope they held onto him and he fought forward with gritted teeth and clenched eyes. His muscles strained and pushed away from them. It was like a tug of war except he was alone while there seemed to be a dozen pulling from the opposite side. 

The hands appeared from a portal and he knew that on the other side was evil. A hell. He was convinced he needed to break free even if those hands tore his arms away. He was not going to be taken to the other side of the door that appeared out of thin air. 

He didn’t know how but he got away. How long did he fight and wrench his body in sharp pulls from their tireless grip? It was strange how the hands could be felt around his arms and legs, but he could not pry them away. He even tried to bite the hands pulling at his neck, head, and face. It was desperate and if he wasn't in deep serious danger, it would have been humiliating and shameful. But to his dismay, all that went through his teeth was air. 

What was this? How was that possible? 

He was in some serious shit. He couldn't hope for reinforcements of any type since it was a solo mission, he couldn't even pluck out his ninken scroll for aid. This was it. He was going to die alone. Not exactly how he imagined it. He always thought he was going to go fighting and in a way he was, but did this even count? The number of presences attempting to drag him into the opening that didn't touch the ground was already making him sore. He wasn't young anymore. 

His silver hair was soaked with sweat, it stuck to his skin as did his mask that now felt suffocating and unbearable. Still he refused to pull it down. 

He knew he was bleeding internally, his multiple wounds were severe. It didn’t take long for his life to leave him as he gurgled blood and struggled to breath. He was cold. 

It was difficult to turn his body to let out the pool of blood overflowing his mouth. 

_My luck has finally run out, huh? I lived a long life anyway, longer than most._

The last breath left Kakashi Hatake and his last thought was the name of the person he secretly fantasized in sharing a life with. She would never know, the fact alone caused him bigger, unimaginable pain in his chest. Maybe it was the reason his life gave up much sooner than was expected. It was unbearable. His greatest regret was not letting her know how he truly felt. 

_Sakura._

  
  



	2. Chapter 2

There were no words that could capture what he experienced. His end was quick, acutely painful, yet slow and dismal. It was like a fast nap, as he bled to his death with the earth as his bed, he shut his eyes and everything was insignificant. 

He did not worry or had any thoughts. The weight of his body was light and grounded on the wet dirt. He didn't need to make any effort to know the mud underneath him was a dark crimson color. 

It never occurred to him how relaxed and at peace he could feel when a piece of his mind still possessed a playful imagination of himself still fighting for his life. The least he could do was crawl, to work his magic and use the barest method of basic first aid to keep his injuries closed. Like he had done in the war where his formerly deceased teammate turned out to be alive and revengeful. They fought in a dimension that looked fabricated and endless. Said enemy slashed his chest into long lines that crossed each other till his dying day he sported, under his uniform, a permanent scarred X. He improvised, used a medical suture and his lighting element to close the open flesh of his chest as closely as he could. He cut the suture line with his lighting, had he not done so he would have fought with a loose, and rather long, surgical suture. 

Even the neatly folded suture he had tucked away somewhere in his vest was too much trouble to get. Maybe if he did his part in trying to keep himself alive even if it was by the most minimal effort of using his abused arms to inch his body until luck manifested in a passing civilian who would save him from death's door. 

That was not the case. Instead, his eyelids lost battle, he was met with total darkness. There was no last vision like the universal expression of _t_ _he other side of the tunnel_. A large part of him imagined his father's spirit waiting for him with consoling words or everyone that had passed on, people he knew of, to be standing there, waiting for him.

He was utterly alone. He figured: he was born alone, lived alone, and was alone till the very end. 

The blackness suddenly turned into a broad tunnel, big enough for his body to flow through. Okay, so maybe the expression wasn't simply an expression. However, it was not a blindingly, bright light like he expected to find, instead he was surrounded by every color imaginable. Colors he never knew could exist, but only lived in the corners of an absurd and daring mind. 

His body wasn't physical, it was ghost-like. Was he not supposed to be thrusted into heaven or hell? He knew heaven was much too sweet of an option, but still, he could get lucky once again? There could be a technical error by the superior beings in charge? He didn't know. Death was supposed to be absolute, immediate, and permanent. Was this some illusion from an enemy that attacked him from a long range distance while using a forbidden technique of monsters to wear him down?

His spirit swirled through, unhurried and much too slow for his liking. Where in the fuck was he going? 

Was he supposed to reflect during this time? Were the answers supposed to come to him or was someone going to eventually tell him what was going on?

He wasn't afraid anymore, but he was in need of answers. His curiosity sought to make sense of his experience. 

Without warning, he fell. Again he wasn't scared, but seriously what the fuck was going on?

The colors rushed passed him into a compact blur of vibrant colors. As soon as his mind processed what he was seeing with his eyes, he felt inhumane temperatures all around him. He wanted to cough, but seeing as he was spirit there was no need to. Still his entire surroundings were on literal fire. Suddenly, dread consumed him, the prickly and intense fear attacked him again more ferocious than when he was alive, or barely alive, like needles stabbing into every unseeable atom that made him, _him._

This place had no sun, it was the bleakest of deserts, except there was no sand. Everything was red. The air was bloody red and could be seen wafting all around. He could not breath through his nostrils or mouth and yet he felt like his face was melting, his throat felt crushed. Had he not known any better he would have been sure his nose had fallen off. 

Inhumane screeches and agonized screams invaded his ears. The hairs on his arms, the primal animal instinct that dwelled under his human intelligence and logic, demanded him to sprint to safety was broken. He stood helplessly frozen with cold sweat breaking from head to toe. 

Hell. 

He swallowed hard. He was in hell. 

Kakashi knew he had done some unforgiving and gruesome sins in his line of work to be given this everlasting punishment, but he always thought hell was just a mental attack build to scare the young and old alike to lead a moral life of good actions. 

Had his life as an assassin of cold, merciless, and even automatic murder accumulated to this? Or was it a specific event in his life? A firm thought or belief formed at some point in his life that defined who he was? 

Was he truly evil at his core? 

But, his heart loved. His heart had a sincere concern and affection for a specific person.

Could evil love? 

He readied his stance to run away, and when he was about to dash away to find a hiding spot, it was all over. 

Kakashi had bolted upwards gasping, he regained control of his physical body and slapped a hand to his eyes where the sun shone too fiercely. He blinked several times until his eyes adjusted to the light.

He had no clue where he was, but it wasn't the area where he was killed. It wasn't anywhere that would indicate a spark of familiarity. Maybe he was dragged into enemy territory and was left behind to die? The blood that was pouring out of him before so vividly confirmed it was only something fictional created in his head.

The pain had felt so real... 

His vest was gone and any sign of emblems woven into his clothes had disappeared, too. All he wore was a long sleeved shirt and fitted pants of dark navy color. Any trace of where he came from was gone. No sharp weapons. No pouches that contained his beloved orange book (goodbye forever). His scrolls and basic medical supplies were gone. His headband...

And he was barefooted... 

There was an enormous and desolate ground that stretched so far that all he could see was the baby blue sky that acted as a wide ocean.

There were some rooted trees, that were weak and young, others were old and sturdy. No other human being was around, but him. He listened for life and could hear the caws of crows. Some small animals could be heard breaking into survival mode of paranoia, scurried away like the prey they were created to be. Leaves cracked and swayed unaffectedly in the breeze. Insects flew and buzzed annoyingly. 

He sat for a few moments. The danger he felt to his life had vanished like a nightmare. Kakashi didn't think much of it since he was easily susceptible to ghosts of formerly known teammates and friends. Perhaps, it was the unresolved subconscious issues of his past urging him to face his problems head on. 

_I rather not._

Whatever it was, whatever it meant. He stood and circled a complete 360 in his spot to take in the unimpressive scenery until he was awkward. 

_Okay. What now?_

Not knowing where he was made him sigh, things were going to be troublesome considering he didn't know where the nearest establishments that housed people was or when exactly he would find a place that sold fresh food. 

He didn't need to feel his pockets to know they were empty. 

Perhaps, he was still in a nightmare?

He choose a direction and began walking.


	3. Chapter 3

Sweat gathered on his brow, beads of perspiration gathered in layers on his body. Cover from the sun was nowhere to be found, the trees stopped lining up a path for him to take advantage of the shade. His face became hot and brightly flushed. The dehydration was going to make him pass out. A smart person like he was, would stop and wait under an ample tree until sunset or nightfall, but Kakashi couldn't find it in him to sit still. 

His clothes were different. Why? The question was persistent in his brain. 

The need to know where he was, to find any familiar semblance that proved to him he wasn't going insane kept his stubborn stride going. 

All there was, was a infinite path ahead of him. He cleared his throat and wiped his brow with the back of a hand. 

At least the wind wasn't forceful enough to pick up the marigold dirt, occasionally the breeze swept by his silver locks and he would relish it in a quiet hum. 

The same monstrous scream from his nightmare came from a distance. His hearing never failed him and neither did his eyesight, he turned to the direction of the inhuman sound that involuntarily made him curl his fist. There was nothing as far as his eyes could see, but something like a red flag caused Kakashi to pick up his pace into a jog. His gut as well as a voice inside his head told him that whatever being produced such a sound had directed it at him as a warning. 

What other explanation could there be? No one else was around.

He soon came to realize that his attempts were futile because every so often the high pitched growls became closer and closer. His legs moved faster. He was unarmed and dehydrated. However, the adrenaline coursing through his body was making him think about putting as much distance between him and the danger that was closing in on him as quickly as possible. 

It was when his eyes finally caught sight of the distorted and gruesome form that he forgot about water, he took of in a swift sprint, the ugly beast had a shadowy black body with multiple glowing eyes of semi low hues and high saturated colors of oranges, yellows, pinks, violets and rings of lime green, launching it's four limbs haughtily on the ground. It sounded like a pack of elephants and also like cloven hooves moving elegantly at the same rate. 

He tried to summon some chakra to his feet and coat a shield of chakra around his body to maneuver out of the way in preparation for when the beast finally succeeded in attacking him. 

Nothing happen. The chakra he recognized so intimately since before he received his headband was not there. Panic and stress began to overwhelm him. 

There was nothing to protect him and he knew from a second glance that any punch would do nothing to the thick skin of the monster, whose height was eight feet tall and was gaining on him by the second. 

Whatever this monster did as an attack was going to be fatal. His bones will likely break and he wasn't prepared to deal with the damage an attack came with no chakra to keep him moving and alive. 

His jaw was painfully closed shut, his teeth glued together. 

He kept glancing over his shoulder and when the beast jumped in the air Kakashi threw himself out of the way. Vicious snaps of salivating shark teeth that were too long, unnaturally crooked, and making up the entirety of the beast mouth made him flinch. There seemed to be no tongue, only a black endless pit past those teeth. 

A stocky limb with an unbreakable barrier of skin came at his face, all he could do was back away as best as he could with crossed forearms. 

He was going to die. It was clear. If he was lucky his death would be immediate or he would wake up in time to begin his routine of old age that consisted of hot unsweetened tea. 

But the impact never arrived. He fell on his behind and looked through the open space between two crossed wrists. There was a body in front of him standing like a wall, protecting him, and further up ahead there was a dead beast cut in half. Blood, so much of it pooled on the ground, slight twitches of eyes and limbs soon died down, too. 

Kakashi lifted his midnight grey eyes and saw a long silver ponytail. His eyes briefly widened, _no, I'm dreaming. It can't be,_ the man turned his head and said coolly, "it's been a long while, hasn't it, son?"


	4. Chapter 4

Kakashi dropped his arms and the shock on his face was to great to conceal. 

The man in front of him looked like his father, but not from his memory. The wrinkles of aging near his eye crease were absent, his face was much too young, too weirdly close to mid twenties. 

"Dad?" The words were dear to his heart and oddly verbalized from his lips. No answers were immediately provided for his confusion because his father helped him to his feet and said, "come on, before more show up to chase after _you_." 

Kakashi took a step forward and his body trembled. The adrenaline having died off along with the beast.

His father took notice. 

Sakumo Hatake lifted his hand, palm up, a white light gathered in a ball until it left to hover in the air in front of Kakashi's eyes and them danced away in a fairy like trail to take shape of a white, beautiful, wolf. It was greater in size than the slain monster, but it didn't materialize into a physical wolf. It was slightly transparent near the edges of its outline. 

Kakashi was awestruck. 

"Hop on," his father said fondly. 

He was dreaming. He must be. But, Kakashi did as he was told.

Kakashi could feel fur in between his fingers, the glowing fur was so bright his fingers seemed to vanish beneath it. It was surreal, the white light didn't hurt his eyes, on the contrary, it was calming to look at. He thought his father was going to ride the wolf to safety as well, but without a noticeable cue from his father, the wolf took off. His father followed closely behind him. 

The wolf's paws were deadly silent, its weight was non existent and yet Kakashi could feel life and warmth under his hands. The wolf leapt gracefully like an intelligent sentient being. 

Was any of this real? It was a sudden thing of dreams. 

The wolf ran and ran, his father kept easy pace beside him. Where were they going? There was nothing like a town or walls indicating a village anywhere up ahead. 

Suddenly, the wolf's head disappeared and his father vanished completely. A invisible wall introduced Kakashi to a quiet woodland. Without his father's aid, Kakashi hopped of, having a feeling that it was safe to do so. 

He turned to his father and examined him. 

Sakumo smiled, the usual fatherly smile his son was used to, and he walked towards his son to wrap him in a hug.

He was pleased that his son didn't tense under his embrace. 

"You're home. Finally." Sakumo sighed contently, aware of all the questions flying in his son's mind. "Come, you must be hungry." 

They walked, what must have been acres of land, Kakashi avoided stepping on loose branches. 

"You're not dreaming. You're not in a coma. In fact, you did die and you're alive again."

"The village, where is it?"

"Don't worry, it's still around, just not here. This world isn't one made up of civilians and ninja," his father chuckled. 

"I really am in some strange coma," Kakashi sighed. 

"You'll come around. The transition is always the longest phase in accepting your new reality," Sakumo said without a worry.

"Right," he drawled out another unconvinced sigh. 

His father offered him to hop on the wolf again, who was soundlessly tip toeing on four furry, shiny paws. It was like a cute oversized puppy, with an absurd amount of fluff. When his stomach announced it needed to be filled with nourishment, Kakashi dropped his shoulders and hoped on the wolf, feeling utterly defeated. 

His father chuckled and patted his head and then scratched behind a glowing ear. 

No commands were said before they took off again at a faster speed. 

Kakashi wrongly assumed the wolf to bounce him all over the place, but he was kept perfectly still like the trees weren't flying in a blur before his very eyes. 


	5. Chapter 5

Kakashi listened to his father's footsteps slow down, but he couldn't force his face to lift up or to move himself off from the wolf. It's fur was incredibly soft and warm like a perfect pillow. He stayed exactly where he was, closed his eyes, and gave in to the heavy need to shut his eyes.

A wooden door opened and Kakashi could smell steamed vegetables being stewed before the dog walked a few paces up ahead and lowered itself, rolling him off its back into a couch. 

Kakashi exhaled, his back more comfortable and cool against the fabric of the couch. 

_I'm dead and my mind is playing tricks on me._

Which was weird because Kakashi didn't have an overactive imagination when he did manage to dream and his subconscious wasn't known to add pleasant aspects to his nightmares like a glowy, puffy, wolf, or his dad...

A discomforting pain kicked from inside his chest, Kakashi almost doubled over ready to embrace the unexpecting feeling, but he sat, waiting for the strange sensation to come back. It didn't. The dog's ear twitched and tilted its head at Kakashi. 

Kakashi sat up, dizzy, and empty headed. His stomach rumbled, "m'need food." He mumbled and dragged himself to the kitchen. 

The place around him had a rustic atmosphere of a cabin, it was spacious, but extremely homely. There wasn't a speck of dust or anything misplaced, everything was exactly where it was supposed to be. Kakashi found himself nostalgic and annoyed, this place reeked of his dad. It didn't smell bad, it was the opposite in fact, the place looked exactly how Kakashi imagined it eventually looking had his father never failed at his mission. 

There was no wall in between the living room and the kitchen to obscure anything from Kakashi's sight. 

"If any of this is real, which is not, I wouldn't produce a young image of my dad since I've never seen how you looked like when you were young." Kakashi contemplated with an even and clear voice as he walked and stopped beside his dad, who was stirring a long wooden spoon inside a soup pot. 

"If I were to hurt you right now, you will most definitely feel it," his smiling dad brought a spoonful of soup with a single sliced carrot and potato to Kakashi's mouth. 

Kakashi's face flushed a little, it's been a long, long, while since he'd been spoonfed. It was kinda embarrassing, but he relented. Because, why not?

He winced at how hot the vegetables were and swallowed fast. 

"Don't worry about any of that right now. Adjust in the meantime." 

They sat and ate, at least his dad did. The man was minding his business unlike Kakashi, who was downright staring at every movement his dad did like a hawk recuperating it's eyesight for the very first time. 

"It's not nice to stare. Didn't I teach you that?" Sakumo gave a lopsided smile, feeling a little uneasy and flattered for being gawked at. Surely, it wasn't so strange to be awed at? Did he really look so odd this young? Then again, his son had a point. It would be strange to look this young when his son's memories only contained an early fourty year old. Even then he was mistaken to be in his young thirties. It helped that he took care of his health and slept consistently, he guessed his fairly attractive looks helped matters. 

Sakumo finished his first bowl and went for seconds. This time around Kakashi busied himself to finishing his food while taking so called subtle glances at him. 

"I can't unsee your baby face," Sakumo said proudly, examining the face of his only son who was lucky to be given the best physical looks he has ever seen and was happy of every creating. 

Kakashi shot him a narrowed look. _I can't ever unsee your dead body_. Kakashi thought snappily. The thought was uncalled for and frankly really old to unbury, but Kakashi couldn't hold his tongue. Then again, he had some issues that were still left unattended. It wasn't his fault he was stuck in a teenage body, it wasn't an age he was thrilled to inhabit. Already he could feel the sudden bursts of anger looming to claw at anything that bothered him, the bizarreness of having his dad sitting in front of him wasn't helping and it was causing a confused whirlwind of emotions inside him. 

He has never taken too kindly to people giving his effeminate or boyish remarks anyway. 

"Ah, what's with the look? I meant it as a good thing, son. You're handsome and beautiful, a perfect blend for a man, I think. I would have liked to be good looking as you." 

Kakashi blushed and face palmed, "how embarrassing can you get? you don't say things like that. It's not cool." He mumbled not too quietly, "so unmanly." Kakashi rolled his eyes, it was typical of his dad to downplay his own looks, in that regard they were the same. Not thinking they were a big deal when they actually were. 

If his dad ever knew Kakashi had wished he looked more rugged or wished he didn't have such a sharp jawline and narrow chin when he had been expecting to grow facial hair, just like his dad, growing up he would never live it down. He can see his dad's annoying amused smile, the silent twinkling in his eyes that held a good natured chuckle. Nope, he wasn't about to embarrass himself by giving endless compliments just to assure his dad he wasn't any less by saying, "you are handsome, dad. I'm the one who wanted to look just like you, but I ended up looking like some fashion model instead of a cold assassin." 

"I'm dad, so it's my right. My privilege," Sakumo smiled and downed his bowl of soup. 

Kakashi held out his empty bowl and Sakumo took it, knowing that his son wanted seconds. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll post little by little. It's better than nothing at all. I mean I could save my work and then post when the chapter is ready but nah.


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